Challenges

I was thinking about something during one of the recent episodes of insomnia which have recently been marauding me. I think it was brought on by the intense, concentrated philosophy we've been covering this semester in both Phenomenology & Existentialism and Modern Philosophy.

This has got a bit of a solipsistic flavor to it, and I know that's been done to hell, so just bear with me.

I was struck with the thought (the honest-to-goodness, permeating thought) that it would be entirely possible for us to be creating our own worlds in terms of challenges and [je ne sais quoi-- that which has been defeated. 'jnsq']. jnsq is the root of what allows us to feel good about ourselves. We can defeat these things because we are, in one way or another, superior to them. For me, excelling in academia has really been the driving force behind my actions since I was introduced to it. I was used to being on top, and when I was in sophomore-(in-college-) level spelling in third grade, I knew that I was destined to kick ass at being intelligent. The jnsqs came easily because I hadn't yet met a peer.

This was the case until just about my sophomore (high school) year, when I started to veer away from my 100s and 99s and chemistry began to kick my ass. Regardless of when it started, or how much it has continued to be the case, the challenges could, feasibly, just be creations of our mind, designed to balance out the positivity. Every time I only barely passed an AP Chem test, I began to hate things more, and I cared less about succeeding and more about self-preservation. Ultimately, challenges could be a result of what we aim to be, which gives us some superficial purpose in this lost world. They're neutralizers for the positive aspects of life. Every time we defeat a jnsq, we're made to feel good about ourselves, but when one of those jnsqs is a worthy opponent, we can say that defeating it makes life worth living.

Or philosophy is stupid, which is just about the route I'm prepared to take.